Letter From Puck to Quinn
by ficklefrog
Summary: Puck writes a letter to Quinn to plead with her to really think through her decision to give up Beth. He wants to be a dad but he also wants to do right by his daughter.This letter accompanies relax o visions letter suite with letters from Quinn to Beth.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: This letter accompanies **relax_o_vision**'s wonderful letter suite of letters from Quinn to Beth. If you haven't read relax_o_vision's letter suites already, do yourself a favour and read them. =)  
>I never cared much about Puck on the show but then this letter just appeared in my head. Feel free to let me know what you think.<p>

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Quinn,

I think we're making the biggest mistake of our lives.

I told you before that it is your decision and I'll go with it. I still stand by my words but I can't not tell you how I feel any more. She's our flesh and blood Quinn!

I know you don't love me and that's ok. I don't know how I feel about you either. Honestly, yeah, I totally wanted to get you in the sack that night but I had no idea this would be the result of it. I mean, I'm not like Brittany, I know where babies come from but you know what I mean.

I know I don't have much to offer you. I'm a poor guy. My family is pretty messed up and my dad's gone and all that but I'm a pretty good guy. I can work. I would work. Maybe I'll never make the kind of money your family has but I would make sure to provide for you and Beth. Money ain't everything. You know, we could sing her to sleep. I'd get up in the night if she's crying. I could bottle feed her. I don't know how to do these things but I could learn. I'd be a totally awesome dad! I'd even change her diapers.

When I stood there next to you at the hospital and we were watching our beautiful baby girl, well, that was the first time in my life that I felt truly proud of something I'd done. I felt proud of myself for having been a part in creating something so perfect. Looking at her, even just for a moment, I knew I love her. No matter what happens, I will always be her dad. And it fucking breaks my heart to think she won't know that. It breaks me inside that I won't be there for her when she needs me. If kids at school mess with her, I should be there to protect her. When she's wondering who she looks like, I should be there to tell her she has grandma Puckerman's nose and my ears. And she should be able to look at you and see that her beautiful eyes come from you. To think that some clown is going to walk her down the aisle on the day she gets married makes me want to beat him up. It should be me! She's my daughter!

I know some other family will be able to give her things we can't. We're high school kids and all that shit. And sure they'll love her. How could they not? She's perfect. But she was ours first and we are her real parents.

You know what kills me? Thinking that some day in the future I'll go to answer the door and some stranger is standing there saying she's Beth. And I won't even recognise her. And she'll ask me why I gave her up? Why I didn't want to be her dad? Why I didn't fight for her? And I'll have no answers to give her.

Don't worry, I won't say that. I'll tell her we wanted a better future for her than what we could provide but in my heart, I'll know that I have no truthful answers. Or worse, that the truth is her dad is a coward who didn't stand up, didn't fight and let her slip from his fingers. It's gonna take me some time to wrap my head around this.

So I have to ask you again, are you absolutely sure this is the right thing to do? Are you sure Quinn?

That's all I wanted to say.

/Puck


	2. Chapter 2

Quinn,

I don't know why I'm even writing you this.

I was at the hospital today. I was fucking there! I stood there hidden, watching Shelby sign the papers and walk away with Beth. My daughter. My child! Do you want to know how that felt? I don't think you do but I'm going to tell you anyway. It felt like I was slowly being ripped apart into a thousand tiny pieces. I felt like I fell into a dark hole from where I will never be able to get up again. And it made me feel like the biggest fucking loser in the world! I am less than useless. I am nothing. Nothing!

And this…. This is supposed to be the right thing? This is what all those fucking people meant to happen when they looked at us with pity in their eyes and smiled and said it would be the right thing to do. Well fuck them! Fuck them all!

She looked so happy. Shelby. I couldn't help thinking that all the pride and all the happiness I felt when Beth was born, when I looked at her sleeping in her cot, all that had been sucked out of me and pumped into her. Now she gets to feel that when she looks at Beth. And me, I'm a drained empty used up shell.

It's not fair Quinn. It's just not fair.

/Puck


	3. Chapter 3

Quinn,

Sorry about the letter the other day. I was upset. I mean, I'm still upset but I'm thinking clearer now. I wasn't being fair to you. I guess this is hard for you too. I just feel so empty. I feel like I died a bit standing there in that hospital.

I just hope she'll be happy. God, I've never wanted anything so bad in my life than for her to be happy. I just wish I could be there to see it.

But I'll go back to just being Puck. I'll woo the ladies, steal Rachel's dads' booze, do stupid things for kicks and clean rich people's pools. We'll see each other at school, do glee club together and mouth off at each other. You'll think I'm kind of a loser who will never get his shit together and I'll think you're a sanctimonious bitch. And then we'll finish high school. You'll get the hell out of here and probably go to some fancy Ivy league college. I'll clean some more pools.

And then some day I'll be sitting in a bar watching tv or flipping through a news paper and your name will come up. Maybe you'll be a successful lawyer or doctor or marry some filmstar. I know you're going to go far. You're smart and I don't think I've ever met anyone with a will of steel like yours. But I'll still be here in Lima. It won't be a bad life. I mean, I'll have friends and we'll go out drinking, pick up chicks and talk about how we're gonna make it big some day but we'll all know we're never leaving this dump.

But however far you move and however much I'm gonna stay here and be a failure, you and I will always be connected. We created a little person. The most beautiful person ever imaginable. I don't care if her last name is Corcoran, she'll always be a part of me and a part of you. A part of us. I will always be grateful to you Quinn, for giving me Beth. For giving me that moment when I first saw her and I was king.

/Puck


End file.
